I thought I would enjoy coming up with a list of my favorite Badass_Bunny tweets. So I did. And I enjoyed it. They’re listed in no particular order. Yes, this is filler while I finish writing some other posts.
In the comments, you should share your top ten tweets (from your own timeline, I mean). Or whatever.
10. People just don’t appreciate Hall & Oates enough. But I can’t go for that. No. Can. Do.
9. Look, tweeples, the whole point of Twitter is to keep your clever little musings to 140 characters or less. Okay? If you can’t, learn to edi
8. A coworker nicknamed me “Dances with words.” I nicknamed her “Outsmarted by cheese.”
7. Having big boobs isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Like when you’re skateboarding with a gang of midgets. So pretty much all the time.
6. It’s crazy how fast a relationship can change after a coworker finds you passed out in the bathroom with your panties around your ankles.
5. My husband says he’s scared of zombies, yet he always wants to have sex with me in the morning. He’s really tempting fate.
4. Pro tip: if your husband yells from the bathroom “you’ve got to come see this,” tell him you already have something stuck in your eye.
3. “Oh yes, I want a shot of the protein…but not in my smoothie.” No one at Jamba Juice ever appreciates that joke.
2. In line at Chipotle behind a fat man who can’t make up his mind. It’s food, Jabba, not life insurance.
1. I wrote a poem for you! Roses are red. Violets are blue. Poetry is stupid. Go fuck yourself.